Joe and Jonz' Bogus Journey

or Beer and Loafing in Coney Island. After showing up an hour and a half late (which is still 15 minutes early in "Joe Time"), Joe saw an old friend in a parking lot were driving trough. In typical Joe fashion, he proceeded to have an hour long "lets catch up now even though we are totally facebook friends" conversation. Finally after picking up his Nana Chicky (whom I don't know yet), he tells me he has to sleep in the back for awhile because he is too tired to drive. Bastard. I allowed this to go on until Richmond. By then Nana Chicky and I were already BFFs. I decided to wake Joe up the only way I could think of.

If this really were a bogus journey, I guess Nana Chicky would be Rufus. I can't figure out why I am still single.

After the Jersey shore we headed straight into Philly. There aren't any photos, but trust me it was legit. Chad, Asian girls, Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel, Blastronauts, Fishtown, Rocket Cats, the whole nine. We even took the under the El tour. Please do yourself a favor and do the same. It truly is a different world down there.

Pulling into the city.
This Guy.
I kept my eyes out for a Coney Island Whitefish. No sitings.
Looking back, I think Marty had a master plan for us the whole time.
tourist
Wake up Joe. You are about to ride a roller coaster for the first time in your life.
I had to crop a turd out of this photo to protect the integrity of it's subject. Sulady.
Hells yeah.
Accommodations provided by Lisk Manor.

Naturally a history lesson.
Spent the night at Bruno's. Hella cool.

BIG WINNERS CLUB.

Somewhere there is a lucky lady.

Tarred Heels.

Super limited edition collabo. 1 of 1 of a pair of 2.
VANSxIOMIxENDLESSGRINDx>UKRUxNORTHCAROLINAxJORDAN-NIKE

The truth is out there.

Punk Rock

Not rain, not shine
Nor chain or sign
shall keep a boy from climbing a rock.

Fight fire with firewire.

The audio from this video has been deleted by the man. Deleted with good reason, might I add. The song in question was Fight fire with fire by Metallica. If the internet police had allowed us all to watch this video (with said audio) without Lars' hired consent, he may not be able to make a living as an artist. He may not even be able to afford a new Basquiat. Bummer Lars. Bummer.

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." - Jack Burton 1986, Big Trouble in Little China

Candace's mind reading technique in very unorthodox.

RGBMar

T-shirts available in white/medium only.

$54.00

Dinosaur Feet. Tupelo, Mississippi

You're Ugly and Your Momma Dresses You Funny.

WOW! Who is the retarded kid playing shortstop? It was so nice of the coach to let him get in some game play. And his mother should be so proud of him for dressing himself today. He should be proud of himself too!!! Putting on the clothes he loves the most with complete disregard for any kind of fashion faux pas. Sure, those Washington Redskins wool socks might not have been the best match for the size smedium Jams. And maybe the pinned striped New York Yankees hat that he scored at the gas station on the way here doesn't really help his bootleg Panama Jack button up. But it doesn't matter....... HE IS RETARDED!!!! Right?

Me Circa 1986

What can I say?

I hope this guy's next wedding is as fun as his first one was.

Sprinkles 2000

Thrift Shop 49er

In my infinite search for the ultimate thrift shop gem, I sometimes run across nuggets of noteworthy value, that just aren't purchase worthy. This is when the camera phone becomes invaluable. In this example, we have a very limited edition Special Guest t-shirt found in a Goodwill. It must suck to know that you care enough to give a select few friends a piece of your shameless self promotion, only to find out that it now hangs on a rack in a thrift shop priced at $2.99. Bummer Joe.

KILL MO

This is probably one of the only things I have made in recent memory that I actually like. It is a board concept for Mike Mo celebrating his victory at the first BATB.

Joe and Jonz' Excellent Adventure

Or Planes, Trains and Ice Cream Trucks.


This weekend was so epic (in the literal sense, not the bro sense) I could only sum it up with a list. Forgive me.

• Gas Mask Honeys.
  
• Champagne in the face.
• Fist-a-cuffs.
  
• African cabbies.
• Popeye's.
• Sleep.
• Sunny/Rainy.
• Carol Duong!!!!
  
• sleep/shower/history session.
• Distort kills it.
  
• Art Art Art
• Bug out at a freak show.
  
• Fell in love with a clown.............
• Yoga mat 20 degrees.
• Breakfast.
• Skate on the oldest street in America.
• Art Art Art
• Obama Fever.
• CHAD!!!!
• The Cure.
• The Dolphin/The Pen and Pad/WaWa session.
  
• Chad's muscle mags.
• Sleep.
• 20 Dollars Ice Cream Truck ride. (Ice Cream included)
• Ben Kenobi to the rescue.

I have no one to blaim but myself.

I currently weigh the most I have ever weighed. I keep reminding myself that muscle weighs more than fat. But the fact of the matter is that doughnuts and coffee weigh more than green tea and rice cakes.

See them dogs peeing?

Curly Fry Lloyd tears it up on a grom axe.

Ruengring Rager

I have finally set a 5 year plan for myself.

It looks something like this.

Never Scared

I can't explain the sadistic pleasure I feel when I see someone get scared. I think it has something to do with the face they make. At any rate, I can laugh about a good scare months later, alone, and just thinking about it. It truly is the funniest thing in the world. Here is a decent scare of Kyle from many years ago. The video turned out a little weird. Sorry Kyle. Love you man.

Dork tricks

In certain social circles I am considered a square.

XOXOXO

Happy V-Day.

Horror Biz

I can safely say that I have had way more misfortune on Christmas Day than on any Friday the 13th. Not to mention that slasher films are about as useless as superstition itself. So I guess the point I am trying to make is that we empower whatever it is we choose to believe in. There is nothing there in the dark that isn't there in the light. Now go break you mirror with a black cat.

English Breakfast

Sometimes jokes can go wrong. Other times they can go way wrong. If you pay close attention to this clip you will see that this was one of the other times. But don't worry, everyone was still friends within minutes.

Duffel bag to hold $500,000+

In my countless hours of wandering through the internet like a homeless person roams the streets, I sometimes find a gem. This one was a Wanted ad posted on Craigslist.org:

Just like it says im looking for a duffel bag or large luggage that can hold $500,000 or more in twenties it takes up a lot more space than you would think it should be able to support 100 pounds or more preferably with a lock for more info email hxcdance4jesus@yahoo.com im willing to pay up to $100

Walking the lines.

I started walking on train tracks around the age 9. It has brought me to some interesting places. And shown me some bizarre things. Sometimes they are grotesque.
Other times they are quite beautiful. It is when the lines between grotesque and beautiful become blurred that I know I have seen something special.

Nemo